No Small Wander

In 2019, I was in Budapest, Hungary for the first time. I had a small studio apartment AirBNB for the weekend. It was really cute—floor-to-ceiling windows that lead outside to the front path, a small kitchenette, and a huge soaking tub.

I was making toast when a high-pitched beep started going off. I located an alarm—because it had gone off when I  was making toast, I assumed it was a smoke detector.

A half-hour later, I was in the soaking tub when it started going off again. This time, there had been no smoke, and it dawned on me: this was a carbon monoxide alarm. There was a gas leak in the AirBNB.

I opened all the windows and contacted the host immediately—who seemed very relaxed about the whole thing. His solution was to turn off the alarm. When I said no, I need a repair technician to assure me that there’s no gas leak. He told me that because it was Friday night, he wouldn’t be able to get one. He said “don’t worry” and to sleep with the windows open.

To reiterate: he told a twenty-something solo female traveller to open the floor-to-ceiling windows leading out to the street. In case that helped with the gas leaking into my lungs.

It was a mess, and it started my trip on completely the wrong foot—panicked, packing, calling the AirBNB emergency department, speed-walking to a nearby hotel, not feeling safe. If I could go back and do it again, knowing what I know now, here’s what I would do, in order:

Make sure you’re safe before anything else.

If I could go back to that freaked-out traveller, I’d say get out of the apartment as quickly as you can. Staying here waiting is just freaking you out more.

Don’t try to investigate; don’t turn the alarm off; just grab your stuff and leave.

When you’re safe, try to calm your nervous system

I’m a big fan of grounding techniques, where you check in with your body physically—but this could also look like calling a friend for a pep talk or getting a tea at a local coffee shop. Being calm will help you think straight, which will help you communicate clearly. Which is important for the next step:

Get in touch with your host

Explain the problem, and work with them on a solution. This could look like asking them to book a repair person immediately, asking what resources they have nearby that could help you, or have them come by if they’re local.

Contact AirBNB emergency services

I did this originally over text message, but at some point we moved to phone calls. I called AirBNB because I felt like I was getting no where with my host. If this isn’t your situation, I would still suggest letting AirBNB know what’s happened if there’s an emergency during your stay.

Figure out where you’re staying for the night

AirBNB were great here —they agreed that a gas leak was unacceptable for sleeping, and they directed me to a nearby hotel, and paid for me to stay there for the first two nights of my trip while they sorted my refund.

If this isn’t an option for you, Google hotels nearby and see what’s walkable and affordable. If you’ve got something nearby but the price seems out of reach, hotel lobbies are also great places to get a cup of coffee, charge your phone, call an Uber, or book a different hotel.

Once you’re in the room, let yourself fall apart a bit

I was freaked out by the time I got to the hotel room. I was exhausted from my flight/public transit combination, in a country I didn’t know, almost poisoned by carbon monoxide (OK that last part might be an exaggeration—I don’t know how serious the leak was—but that’s how it felt in the moment!).

The biggest shock to me was that my host really didn’t seem to care about the danger—to him, it wasn’t worth worrying about a woman sleeping with a door-sized window wide open to the street. All of a sudden, the city seemed very cold and dangerous.

So I fell apart a bit. I cried, I called my roommate. And I passed through the emotions of panic, instead of trying to stuff them down.

Try to get a good night’s sleep

If you can let your body know that you’re safe now, you’ll be able to sleep soundly. Which is good, because the next step requires energy:

Figure out what you want to do next

What do you want the rest of your trip to look like? I wanted to never see that AirBNB again, but the hotel was only paid for through the night. The morning after all of this happened, I realized I had options. First option: I could go home early, if I paid to change my ticket. But this trip was planned for four days, and I didn’t want to leave so soon.

Second option: I could find a new AirBNB to book. But the weekend was already in full swing, and I might not have been able to find anything. (Truthfully, I didn’t look that hard. Knowing how my previous host responded, suddenly staying in someone else’s home didn’t feel safe.)

Third option: I could stay in this hotel, or find another nearby. This is what I ended up doing. It was way more than what I wanted to pay for this trip, but the hotel was nice and I felt calm there. I’d already lost time figuring out my problem (I had to have numerous calls with AirBNB the morning after), and I didn’t want to waste more time researching and getting to a new hotel.

But it’s important to remember: you always have options when you’re in a situation like this. I know when my fight-or-flight kicks in, sometimes I forget that I can opt out of situations altogether and just go home. Fear sometimes makes me feel like I’ve got no options. But remembering that gives an intentionality to plan-making: I think, I want to stay, dammit! And suddenly I feel more like someone who’s taking action, rather than someone who a bad situation is happening to.

Do something nice for yourself

To put this whole thing behind me, I did something nice for myself: I went out for ice cream. Sometimes a stressful situation needs additional self-soothing, and it was helped by raspberry sorbet. Remind yourself that even though bad things sometimes happen, good things happen too!

Remember: You can handle this

Whether this is your first trip or your thousandth, the most useful tool I’ve been able to cultivate is thinking that I can handle whatever comes my way. An AirBNB emergency can always happen, but there are always ways out of situations if you know where to look and what to do next. Here’s hoping your next trip doesn’t include an AirBNB emergency—and happy travels!