Last month, I wrote a piece about how I pushed myself to do too much on a trip, and I paid the price with my mental health.

I sometimes struggle with being a harsh critic of myself; of noticing when I fall down, and forgetting when I get back up. But I was looking through photos of that trip recently, and I found one that made me happy:

That’s me, holding everyone’s purses and jackets as they go on a ride. It’s also the day after I rode the rollercoaster that completely dysregulated my nervous system.

I’d gotten a night’s sleep and talked my mental health situation over with some profoundly understanding friends (whose empathy I am always overwhelmed by). Having said all that, we still had tokens for the theme park, so we’d headed back for another day of fun. They wanted to ride the rollercoaster.

The reason this picture makes me happy is because it feels like proof that I’m learning: that I’m listening to my inner voice, that I’m not worrying as much about “ruining” the fun by not participating the way I think I should. Instead, I’m participating mindfully in a group trip, by holding everyone’s purses.

It’s a silly task to be proud of, maybe—but I am. There’s not a lot of moments I can point to where I can say, I’m really living my slow travel ideology. Slow travel can be a hard thing to define, but it’s often defined by lack.

We—well, I—read pieces about travel to learn about and marvel at the world around us. I save content (articles, TikTok videos, Instagram posts) of places I want to visit someday. It’s a mountain of data points and information.

But slow travel is about taking that mountain—advice, recommendations, locations, activities—and paring it down. It’s about recognising that when we travel, it’s the quality of our experiences over the quantity. Moving slowly through a place makes it more memorable and part of that means there’s less to remember. But slow travel—really pushing yourself to slow down—is sometimes defined by the things you didn’t do.

Imagine you’ve got one day to spend in London. Your itinerary could look like this:

• Get off the train at London Bridge
• Immediately go to Borough Market for the famous strawberries and chocolate
• Walk to the Shard, get a ticket and ride to the top
• Get out, walk by Tower Bridge
• Take the Uber boat up to Westminister, see Big Ben
• Walk down the river to Southbank, take a ride on the London Eye
• Have a drink at the British Film Institute (BFI)
• Walk to the Tate Modern, have a look inside
• Cross Millenium Bridge to St. Paul’s Cathedral
• Walk to the Barbican, check out the inside
• Head west to the British Museum

…And take the tube back to London Bridge, exhausted, ready to train home.

This is how I used to travel—running from place to place, caught up in the adrenaline that comes with being excited (or anxious) to be in a new place, desperate to tell people I’d left no stone unturned. I saw a lot, but experienced very little. After all, if I don’t have time to sink my teeth into experiences because I’m always thinking about what’s next, I’m not really leaning into travel—I’m just ticking things off lists.

But going back to that London list—what if, instead of aiming to hit 10 spots, I had just aimed at 2 or 3? They’d preferably be around the same area, so I wouldn’t spend time getting from one place to another. Instead of the goal being “see as much of London as possible”, it could be “get familiar with the area around London bridge”. So a plan I’ve made for myself could look like:

• Get off the train at London bridge
• Go to Borough Market and talk to vendors. Find out what makes this place so special; check out the imported meats and cheeses, the hand-made pastries. Notice the bakery nearby that offers classes, and take a brochure in case you’ll be back anytime soon. Pick up lunch to eat on the steps of the marketplace, and consider if you’d like to bring anything home (specialty delicacies from London make great gifts!)
• Walk through Borough Yards nearby, noticing how narrow the alleyways are, and how tall the buildings are that stretch and cut off the sunshine. Wander through the cobblestone streets and marvel at the cross-platform shared balconies.
• Check out the Southwark Cathedral, or the Leadenhall Market, or the London Dungeon…wherever your feet carry you.

…And this could make for a very enjoyable London day. Less adrenaline-filled than trying to rush from place to place, but still full of meaningful experiences that would mean a lot to me.

But if you look at those two lists, the big differentiator is that the second is a lot shorter. I might even end that slow travel day wondering if I really made the most of my time. But I think I’m getting to know myself better, and in doing so, I’m being okay with how I’m spending the time when I travel.

Even if that means I’m holding everyone’s purses.