I love slow travel; mindful trips, where I get to ask myself, “What would make me happiest?” and use the answer to fuel days of exploration of a new place.

But there are some vacations where I want to do absolutely no cultural discovery; where the point isn’t to go out and see things, but to recharge by bowing out of activities altogether.

Enter: the fly-and-flop trip.

I encountered this term recently, and I love that it so clearly encapsulates the aura that comes with just needing a break. A break in routine that forces you to slow down (unlike at home, where there will always be dishes to clean and laundry to fold).

I know many people who think that trips are a break in themselves, but I actually think that this isn’t the case most of the time. Travel is not inherently relaxing. There’s a mental load to bear when you go somewhere you don’t speak the same language, where the food is unfamiliar to your stomach, or when you’re unsure how transport works.

There’s a pressure I’ve found when I’m travelling somewhere new, to optimize every second of my trip. This is actually how I found slow travel; I found that between the pressure I was putting on myself to see everything a new place had to offer (that I collect in carefully-curated lists on my notes app, in my TikTok saves, and in Google Maps), and the pressure I felt from others to post and come back with stories about what I’d seen and learned, I was taking the wrong things away from travel. So I started thinking more about what I wanted to do on trips, and discovered slow travel in the process.

But sometimes, I really want to do nothing. Writing that makes me feel lazy, but it’s the truth. Sometimes what I want is to not have to think about the hum-drum of daily life. I want to walk through a forest and not think about groceries; I want to lie by the beach and just let the sound of the waves take over.

So the fly-and-flop trip isn’t about lists or goals. It’s about taking the mental space you need to recharge your batteries. And although it’s hard to do this “wrong”, I have a few tips for any overthinkers on how to plan a fly-and-flop trip:

Define What Relaxation Means to You

This might sound like the most obvious step, but it’s one most people avoid. Not everyone’s idea of relaxation is the same—just as acupuncture is calming for some, and just a load of painful needles for others. So ask yourself: what relaxes me? Is it…

• Silence and solitude? You’ll want to go to the countryside, instead of in tourist-dense locations
• Coming home after an adrenaline-filled day? You might want to check out locations near theme- or water-parks, outdoor ropes courses, or nature trails.
• Spending hours in the sunshine? Search online for beaches that won’t be overrun by tourists, so you won’t have to compete for space or parking.
• Spa treatments? You’ll want to get yourself near a day spa or serviced gym.

It doesn’t matter what your goal is—you could say, all I want to do is lie on the beach and read my book. Great! I once spent almost a full week with my best friend going to the beach and making bracelets. That wasn’t on my travel bucket list, but it was one of the best trips I took that year; it forced me to slow down and connect with someone I care about, and I came home refreshed. Identifying what will do that for you is so important to get the most out of your fly-and-flop vacation!

Let Go of All Ambition

Throw away the list of things you feel like you have to check out; forget about saying “I want to read 2 books this weekend!”. This isn’t the point of a fly-and-flop. The point is—fun. No stress. Less tension in your shoulders. Getting to relax.

And—speaking from some experience here—don’tmake your goal, “I must relax on this trip!”. You’ll stress about how you’re not relaxing enough, and it’s a downwards spiral from there. Try to let go of any expectations, and enjoy yourself!

Choose a Hotel Over a Rental

The feeling of “who cares what the room looks like—it’s not like we’ll spend a lot of time in it!” doesn’t exist on a fly-and-flop vacation. You want to be comfortable in the room, but more than that, hotels have amenities you won’t get in an Airbnb. Household chores aren’t a concern when you’ve got housekeeping; there’s no need to wash your towels or dishes. Bonus points if the hotel has amenities (can they call you a taxi that won’t rip you off? Can they suggest walkable attractions? Do they have a pool or restaurant you can relax in?). And don’t even think about a hostel—you want to sleep, and hostels are notorious for rowdy neighbours.

Ignore Other People’s Expectations

You will probably have someone in your life who simply can’t believe you went all the way to [your trip location] and didn’t see a certain landmark, museum, or monument. To that I say—ah well! You’re not travelling to please others. Sometimes, we really need a break from our routine to replenish our travel batteries. Remember that slow, thoughtful travel is all about introspection as well as external exploration—and giving yourself some time to rest is important!

Not every trip has to change the way you see the world; sometimes, travel can be the thing that makes you feel more like yourself. And if you’re worried that travel is an opportunity that you’re squandering (a feeling I’ve had many times before!) remember that rest is productive. It takes time, space, and practice to recentre ourselves, and sometimes, a relaxing holiday does just that.