London is a city of fast walkers, electric bikes speeding through traffic, and commuters side-stepping obstacles as their eyes are glued to their phones. It isn’t a place where slow walkers are rewarded; it’s where they’re glared at by side-steppers.

Yesterday I biked to a friend’s house—I don’t have my own bike, so I took a rental, and because I’m not used to riding in the city, I stayed only in bike lanes that were separate from car traffic, separated by cement curbs. I took my time, as I wasn’t in a rush.

I counted at least three bikes overtaking me in the first five minutes of my trip.

I don’t blame these people; I don’t think that their pace was a personal affront. But it made me think about how hard it is to be part of London’s non-stop motion without feeling like you need to keep pace with how fast everyone else goes.

But slowing down in new cities is important work—and it requires a lot of intention to make happen.

Not getting caught up in a city’s speed leads to greater enjoyment, for me—it means I can stop to feel the sun on my face when it shines brightly, take in the sights I might be missing, and appreciate the space that I’m walking through. Speeding through London deprives me of chances to enjoy the city, and in some cases, can even be hazardous (how many people get hit by cars because they’re in too much of a rush to wait for their light to be green?).

This isn’t just a phenomenon I’ve experienced in London, either. I love city breaks, where the idea is to walk the city and explore what makes it unique—and if you go to a city with a slower pace, it’s easy to take in the sights, sounds, and smells. But if you go somewhere you feel like you have to hot-step through the streets, or you’ll hold up foot traffic with a slower pace, it’s hard to match the city’s pace of life without letting it dictate your experience. Where fast cities reward urgency, it’s hard not to feel like they punish the slow awareness that I like to cultivate.

So how do you find that balance? Some things I think are worth considering are as follows:

Leave the house a few minutes earlier than you planned. One of the things that I find really makes me want to speed to or through a location is the anxiety that comes from the feeling of, I don’t have enough time. I’ve found the best way to combat this feeling is to give myself a buffer—then even if the bus doesn’t show or there’s a block in my path, I can tell myself not to rush because it’s okay if we waste a bit of time.

Learn to recognize when you might be in the flow of traffic, and step out of it. Have you ever been in the “flow” of traffic—at an airport, on the sidewalk, etc—and the person in front of you suddenly stops? It can be so jarring. To avoid this, if you’re in a fast-paced area, see if there’s somewhere you can step off to the side; a storefront, the steps to a building, an alleyway. If you need to take a minute to take a few deep breaths and slow your heart rate, do it.

Remember that there’s no minimum speed on walking. If someone behind you is getting irritated that you’re not going “fast enough”, remember that they can always go around you. Don’t take on the opinions of strangers as irrefutable facts!

(Having said that, if you feel like you’re getting side-eye from multiple people at the same time, it might be worth your while to reflect on if there’s something you’re doing that’s unsafe or disrespectful, that deviates from the norms or rules of civility of the city you’re in. I’m thinking ignoring construction signs, playing music without headphones, or walking in the bike lane. It’s important to stay aware of your surroundings!)

Take off headphones that pump you with adrenaline-fueled walking music. I’m a big advocate for not wearing headphones while walking around a new city, for safety and mindfulness reasons. But this is especially true if you’re listening to something with a high BPM, that fills you with energy and makes you want to walk at the pace of the beat.

Give yourself permission to linger, and find places that foster this. There are some places where even the busiest minds are forced to slow down. If you’re travelling and in need of some calm, non-chaotic movement, there are a few places I recommend looking:

• Hotel bars. You don’t have to be a guest of the hotel to enjoy their bar! Usually hotels have bars designed to inspire feelings of calm and warmth, while facilitating transition; people coming and going from the city, from work to play, and from day to night. Check out smaller, boutique hotels and see what kind of vibe you’re into, while getting a chance to people-watch!
• Independent bookstores. I have never seen someone in a bookshop in a rush. These are places to stop, read back covers and inside jackets, and make conversations with staff about their recommendations.
• Outdoor markets. This is somewhere lingering is encouraged; the more people linger around an outdoor stall, the more other people are likely to wander over.

Remember that trips are a marathon, not a sprint—especially if you want to feel renewed and refreshed by your time away. It can be very tempting to race through a city, taking in as much of it as possible. But sometimes, the more we pack into a trip, the less we enjoy it. If travel is something that you want to add to your life, then part of that process must be protecting your energy, so that you don’t come home feeling exhausted from the break you’ve taken. I’m not saying not to push yourself—if that’s what makes you happy, I say—go for it! But rushing through cities and ticking things off lists isn’t what makes for a satisfying trip for me; instead, it’s the calm, measured way I immerse myself in the places I visit that makes me happy.

After all—the pace of a city is out of your hands, but your reaction to the pressure to “keep up” is completely in your control.

Happy travels!