Last month for my 35^th birthday, I went to Belgium with my boyfriend. I think it’s the best way I could have spent my time.

Traditionally, I hate my birthday. It’s not the getting older bit; it’s the fact that in adulthood, I never feel like I’ve gotten it juuuust right.

I’ve tried having celebrations at clubs, bars, my apartment, pre-gaming at my apartment then bar and/or club, doing a double-birthday with someone else, group trips, and one video call party during the pandemic. And it almost always ends up the same; I spend the whole night worried that everyone’s having a good time, and forget to enjoy myself.

Being at the centre of all the attention—the reason people are there at all—feels stressful to me; I always want to make sure that everyone’s having a good time, or somehow in my head, it’s my fault if they didn’t (this is purely an exercise in overthinking; no one has ever said to me, I didn’t have fun at your party, and now I’m mad at you.)

But I think I’ve cracked the birthday blues: getting out of town. Here’s why I think that, if you hate your birthday, taking a trip might be the best thing you can do:

It gets rid of birthday envy. I look at other people who have cute Instagram posts of themselves with cake, a friend group all in matching outfits, or surrounded by presents and I think, I don’t think I’m doing birthdays right. But being on a trip makes me feel like I’m stepping out of those expectations and doing my own thing, while still being able to tell myself I’m treating myself well on a day that’s meant to be special to me.

It means you have something to respond to all the “Happy Birthday” texts you’ll receive. Stopping at “thanks!” seems so awkward to me, but I can’t start an involved conversation with each text. Saying “Thank you – I’m in Paris for the weekend celebrating!” with a pic feels like I’m actually participating in the conversation.

You can decide on the day what you’d like your birthday to look like. Sometimes on my birthday I’ve opted to do nothing and let it pass—and then by the time the day rolls around, I feel sad that I’ve not acknowledged it. Other times, I’ve planned bigger parties and then dreaded it. But going somewhere else means that you’re not beholden to other people; you can explore the city, check out a concert, dance with strangers….or stay in your hotel room and order room service, and even that will feel special.

Would you take a trip to celebrate your birthday? Let me know below! And as always, happy travels x